Do You Take Things Too Personally? These Tips Might Help

Last Updated: February 10, 2023, 08:30 IST

Low self-esteem can make you worry about what others think about you. (Image: Shutterstock)

The feeling of being attacked or that your character, skills, competency and accomplishments are being questioned leads to defensiveness.

Many people feel things too deeply and tend to take everything personally. It means they have everything to heart even when things may not be related to them. Living with a high sense of perceived self-importance leads to taking things personally and you may assume that everything revolves around you.

Here is why you may be taking things personally-

Negative self-talk

It’s very easy to criticize yourself without realising that it’s slowly leading to negative self-talk. So, when faced with negativity, you will easily believe it.

Childhood trauma

If as a child there has been a lack of emotional support and you have been blamed by your parents, it can lead to the feeling that you deserve to be mocked and humiliated.

Poor self-esteem

Low self-esteem can make you worry about what others think about you. This can also be one of the reasons for taking things personally.


Perfectionists have a hard time accepting criticisms about themselves as they set unrealistic standards for themselves.

Stress or fatigue

Stress or fatigue can easily be one of the reasons why you may have misunderstood someone’s comments and taken things personally.

Dr Nicole LePera is a Psychologist and has recently shared a few pieces of advice for those who take things personally.

Check out her post here-

  • Her first reminder was how people behave reflects their internal world and is not just about you.
  • It means that sometimes the behaviour of others makes us judge ourselves harshly. But how a person chooses to behave or interact with you is a reflection of their character, personality and beliefs that has nothing to do with you.
  • Disappointing people is natural and adults can deal with disappointment.
  • For people who take things personally, disappointing someone might be a nightmare. However, according to the expert, disappointments are part of life and we cannot avoid them.
  • Not being compatible with someone does not mean you are not good enough or not worthy.
  • Sometimes relationships end because the two people are not compatible with each other. It does not necessarily mean that one of them is not good enough for the other or not worth it. They will be compatible with someone else.
  • It is impossible to please everyone.
  • Not being able to please everyone may make us feel disappointed. It can make us take things personally as we feel like a failure. But, it is not our job nor a requirement to please everyone, because we cannot.
  • When you are authentic, you won’t be for everyone.
  • When you are true to yourself, you will attract only the good.
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